Hollow Man

I feel hollow.

At least, that's the best way I can describe it. I have very little motivation to keep going to classes, but for some reason I keep going. To illustrate my attitude for life right now, I use the moment in the movie A Knight's Tale where Chaucer walks by naked and is understandably questioned by the main characters.

William: Sir, what are you doing?
Chaucer: Uh... trudging. You know, trudging? [pause] To trudge: the slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on.

As sad as it may seem, this is how I feel during most of my day to day life, although some days are much better than others.

This isn't how a Christian should feel, I think. But I'm not sure how to shake this feeling. A part of me feels that something big and important is just around the corner in my life, but I've felt that for a while now to no avail. Recently, I met someone who has inspired me with their faith and love. They inspire me because they remind me of how I once had the joy of Christ in my life and how I used to have faith in God. I want that faith again, but for the moment, I seem to have lost it.

I want to be excited about God again. I want to be hungry for His word. I want to commune daily with Him and become fulfilled again. But I don't know how to go about it. And so I continue to trudge through my life.