Jacob VII: Day and Night

Gen. 32-33

Daybreak. Jacob stood looking out toward the horizon. The morning sun had risen from the east and was casting long shadows onto the field before him. This is the day, he thought. He was about to make his second confrontation of the day. This is the day I die.

The night before, he had sent his family past the river and went by himself to sleep at the foot of a poplar tree. He sat thinking about his life, his family, his actions. He sat there quietly by himself while tears slowly ran down his face. What have I done? I knew that I wouldn't get away with it. He's going to kill me. I deserve it. I deserve to die.

Day. I deserve to die, he thought as he gazed across the field. A wind came over it and the lentils danced in its tumult, frolicking without a care in the world. Jacob knelt down and grabbed a pinch of dirt between his fingers and brought it close to his nose. He smelled the earth and then let the wind take it all, returning it back to its place. Again, he turned his gaze to the horizon. He'll be here soon. My brother is coming to kill me.

Night. A snapping branch awoke him. Jacob jumped up from beneath the tree and slowly walked around to investigate. Suddenly, an arm wrapped around his neck from behind. "What is your name?" the man demanded. Jacob kicked the back of the man's ankle and was let loose from his grasp.
"Who are you?" Jacob asked, "Did Esau send you?"
"Your brother is not my business tonight. Tonight, you are what I come for. Now, tell me who you are."
Jacob bent down and ran at him at full speed, ramming his chest and taking him to the ground. The man rolled over onto Jacob, pinning him down. Jacob forced him upward with all his might and kicked him in the gut, causing the man to cry out and fall backward. Jacob tried to stand, but he grabbed his leg and brought him back to the ground again. As he fell, he shifted his weight so that his elbow came down on the man. Jacob lay on top of him, his arm pinning him down by the neck. He looked directly into his eyes.
"Tonight," he said, "You're going to tell me who I am."

Day. The sun was higher now. A messenger ran across the field and met Jacob. "Esau and his men are just beyond the mount, sir. He should be in sight any minute now."
"Thank you. Go and tend to my family." The man ran past him. He continued to stare at the horizon, willing his brother to appear. I sent him gifts, he thought. I gave him a peace offering, but that was not enough. I took his life, and now he will take mine.

Night. They wrestled for hours as the stars spun above them in their eternal symphony of light, rolling back and forth, exchanging power again and again. They rolled back toward the tree. Jacob's head hit a root and there was a flash of blackness before he came back into dizzying consciousness. "Ble.. m..," He whimpered, barely getting the words out.
"What was that?" the man said.
Jacob wrenched his arm from the man's grip and lunged at his throat, only to grab at the air as he repeated his demand, "Bless…me."
The man's fist came down on Jacob's temple, sending him back into blackness.

Day. A blurred line broke from the horizon and began to take form. Four hundred men marched toward Jacob, his brother at the head of the van. Jacob attempted to stand straight, but an overwhelming heaviness seemed to overtake him. He hunched while his stomach turned sour. It is almost time.

Night. Still recovering from the blackness Jacob spun his way out of the man’s grip. Jacob was free just long enough to stand and kick him in the ribs. The man cried out and suddenly sat up, pain covering his face. He climbed up his leg, touched his hip, and Jacob went down. White spots flashed in front of his eyes as pain slid up his side. He cried out in agony.
The man spoke, breathing laboriously, "Let me go, the dawn is breaking."
Jacob stared into the man's tired eyes. His grimace of pain turned into one of determination, "I will not let you go until you bless me," he said. The man sat there, staring into his eyes. "Bless me!" Jacob rasped.
"What is your name?"
"Bless me!"
"Tell me your name!"
Jacob fell back and lay down, staring up at the purple early morning sky and sighed a sigh of surrender. "Jacob," he said, "My name is Jacob."

Day. As Jacob stood there, watching his brother’s army approach, he thought back upon his life. I was always running, he thought. Just once, I wanted to rest. Just once, I wanted to relax. He had never been happy to simply be himself. He had always wanted more. Twenty years ago, he stole Esau's inheritance. Jacob took everything of his brother's and made it his own. Then he fled his brother's wrath and went into the service of another man that he could deceive over and over. That was who Jacob was: a deceiver. It was a title that was placed in his very name from birth. I just wanted to know who I was.
He walked forward, bowing down to the approaching men as he went. Jacob winced with every step on his right leg. His brother's men stopped marching, and a single figure ran toward him. He's coming for me. Esau will kill me himself.

Night. The man stood, clutching his side, breathing heavily. "Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed."
Jacob tried to stand, but his leg gave out on him and he stumbled to one knee.
"Please tell me your name," he said.
"Why is it that you ask my name?"
Jacob hung his head. He knew whom it was that he had wrestled with. The man gently touched Jacob's chin and lifted his face toward him. There, on the very ground of their struggle, He blessed him.

Day. Esau ran at Jacob. Faster. Faster. Jacob stood as tall as he could with all the weight of his guilt on his shoulders and faced his death. Esau ran to Jacob. Each step made Jacob's heart pound harder. They met. Esau wrapped his arms around his brother's neck and cried as he fell on him. Stunned, Jacob returned the embrace. Esau kissed his brother and then looked behind him. He stared into his eyes. "Who are these with you?"
Jacob coughed to remain composed as tears began to form in his eyes. "These are my family." Tears of joy streamed down Esau's face and he fell onto Jacob once more. Jacob began to cry as he held his brother in a tight embrace. He was forgiven. He had a future.

He was Israel.