Sunday, March 30, 2008

Good For the Soul

Laughter is good for the soul. So is a nice warm, hearty, meaty bowl of chili.

I try to indulge in both whenever I get the chance. I suggest everyone else does the same.

That is all for today.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Easter



Happy Easter everyone!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Goodbye Kenny

Last night I found out that a friend of mine had passed away. I didn't know Kenny Mohmand extremely well. I met him on a mission trip to Colorado last year at this time. This exact week, in fact. What I did know of him was that he was a very fun guy, a people person and a lover of God.

But yesterday, God decided that it was time that Kenny be with Him. His death comes as a shock and he will surely be missed by many, many people.

He leaves behind a wife and a six month old child. I ask that anyone who reads this will take time to pray for them, to help them cope with their loss.

We'll miss you Kenny.

Monday, March 03, 2008

101 Reasons to Own a T-101



After watching the first two Terminator movies again and in response to the new Fox television show Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles that has its season finale tonight, I've decided to compile a list of reasons why it would be good to have a T-101 model Terminator in your possession. Here's what I came up with.

101 Reasons to Own a T-101

1. You’ll always get out of a traffic ticket. Always.
2. You are guaranteed to get the foul ball at baseball game.
3. You’ll have a role model to look up to.
4. That cool Austrian accent.
5. He can help you with any computer problem you may have.
6. He can stitch you up if you fall out of the shower or get hit by a bus.
7. You’ll look cool simply by being seen with him.
8. Fun weekends at the gun range.
9. He’s the perfect security guard.
10. He never eats.
11. He never sleeps.
12. You can cuddle with him whenever you want.
13. He’ll always remember where you parked.
14. He can reach the top shelf at the grocery store.
15. You can sit on his lap anytime (he may even bounce you on his knee).
16. He’s a great cook (Seriously, his chicken parmesan is AMAZING).
17. If someone is being loud in a movie theater, he’ll shoot them.
18. He’s a great listener.
19. When playing Twister, he’s always willing to spin.
20. He’ll always be willing to scratch your back.
21. He gives great body massages.
22. You’ll never have to do dishes again.
23. He can open a jar of pickles for you.
24. He can sing and/or rock you to sleep.
25. He’s a great conversation starter.
26. He can crush a keg on his forehead.
27. He can get you into any nightclub.
28. Two words: personal trainer.
29. You can save on books on tape by having him read to you.
30. He’ll be willing to wait on hold with insurance companies for you.
31. You’ll never get lost.
32. He’ll give you piggy back rides.
33. He always hangs up on telemarketers and sometimes threatens them.
34. He can take out the trash.
35. He can get the mail.
36. He’s good at arranging floral bouquets.
37. He’s a good DJ.
38. He gives great bear hugs.
39. He’ll let you cry on his shoulder.
40. He knows the Heimlich Maneuver.
41. He gives great sponge baths.
42. He’s a good mechanic.
43. You’ll have a chauffeur.
44. He can help you pick out sunglasses.
45. He’s always honest, sometimes brutally so.
46. You’ll have a good jogging partner.
47. You’ll have someone to weed your garden.
48. He can mow your lawn on hot summer days.
49. He’s a skilled bartender.
50. The prank calls are phenomenal.
51. He’ll do your homework.
52. He can calculate 15% of a check in .00000025 seconds.
53. He’s an amazing paintballer.
54. He’ll take the family picture without feeling left out.
55. He can operate any kind of vehicle, and you never know when you’ll need to fly a helicopter or drive a tank.
56. He knows the future.
57. He’s good with children.
58. He’s good with pets (except for dogs).
59. He can rescue you and your loved ones from a burning building.
60. He’ll remember people’s birthdays and anniversaries for you.
61. He can find the candles if the power goes out.
62. He does a great job putting coins into their paper rolls.
63. He always remembers to record your favorite shows.
64. He’s always a designated driver.
65. He would take a bullet for your any day.
66. He’s extremely good at making shadow puppets.
67. You can send him to the store to buy embarrassing products like Preparation H.
68. If there’s a problem with your neck or back, he can fix it with a touch of a finger.
69. He can change a light bulb, even if it’s still hot.
70. He’s sure to break out the guitar at a bonfire and start the singin’.
71. He’ll make sure you’re never late for work.
72. He’s a good line dancer.
73. He has great taste in leather jackets.
74. He speaks Spanish…sort of.
75. He can clap on beat.
76. He’s not afraid of terrorists.
77. Terrorists are afraid of him.
78. You’ll have someone to play catch with.
79. He can hold the antenna for you to get the perfect signal while you watch your favorite television shows.
80. He’s good at counting cards.
81. He can pick the kids up from school.
82. He can push the kids on the swing set.
83. He can reach to put the star on top of the Christmas tree.
84. He can put up a pretty good fireworks show for the Fourth of July.
85. You can impress your emo friends by having him cut himself.
86. If you get into a car accident, you won’t have to wait for the Jaws of Life.
87. He has a built-in carbon monoxide detector.
88. He has a strong handshake
89. He’s a great Guitar Hero partner.
90. He can play both parts of Heart and Soul on the piano.
91. He knows how to effectively use all the components of a Swiss Army Knife.
92. He’s great at starting fires for cozy evenings.
93. He knows the six degrees of separation to Kevin Bacon for anyone.
94. He’s good with a plunger.
95. He’s fun to go spelunking with.
96. He’ll act as a lifeguard at the pool for your kids
97. If you go skydiving and chicken out at the last minute, he’ll help you by pushing you out of the plane.
98. He’s equipped with the highest virus protection imaginable.
99. He can find the best deals at garage sales.
100. He can find the location of Osama Bin Ladin.
101. He can kick Chuck Norris’ sorry ass any day.